im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize