ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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