I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
