you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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