Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
