maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
