omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When are your genitals available?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize