The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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