hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
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