i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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