What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
