What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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