Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize