the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
