am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it's great music for shaving your balls
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
