The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I seem to have left my pride at pride
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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