Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
