a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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