if you like me you must not know who I am
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
