I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
