let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
