i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
