so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
