please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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