This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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