there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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