Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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