Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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