Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
