you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
