Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
