You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
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Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize