I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
