Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
