Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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