I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's never too late to be topless.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Randomize
