You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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