I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
