oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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