My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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