We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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