turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
