How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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