I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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