So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
