This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
sex in a hospital.. check
Randomize
