white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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