she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
