If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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