So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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