I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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