Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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