the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
