what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...