I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
