How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
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i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.