According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
