So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
