I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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