why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
