My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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