We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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