Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is Oprah even human
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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