this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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